– You could be a criminal and not even know it.
– Let’s talk about that. ♪ (intro music) ♪ – Good mythical morning!
– Now Rhett, you’re a law abiding citizen, right? – Yes. Oh yes.
– You think you are. Now I don’t think we’ve broken any laws on this show. But I
don’t know for sure because as it turns out, there are a bunch of laws around
these United States that are truly odd. So, at any point, any of us could be
breaking laws in any state and not know it. What I’ve done is I’ve dusted off the
local law books and I’ve unearthed some of – the weirdest laws that are still in play.
– Okay. And it’s time to play… – Cool, I love Cops, man. I love that show.
– Okay, you gotta fill in these blanks to real but odd local laws, okay? If you get
four of these blanks filled in correctly, you win an amazing commemorative
wanted poster which you’re gonna want. Four out of eight? These are kind of tough. – Okay.
– Kind of open-ended. – Well that’s what I mean.
– I’mma – I’mma try to help you out, okay? – If you need some hints–
– Good. you can – you can beg for hints. A pickle… To be a pickle. A pickle’s a cucumber, did you know that? No. A pickle is a cucumber.
I learned that last year. I always thought it grew on a pickle tree. – Right, but if it blanks, it’s–
– I love pickles. – a pistol – pickle.
– A pistol? – A pickle.
– Yeah. That’s the correct pronunciation. Uh, well, I mean… I feel like it’s gotta (makes snapping sound).
It’s gotta snap! And you wanna snap into it like a Slim Jim but it’s
not a Slim Jim, it’s a– – Snap into it!
– Like the – what is it, Vlasic? What – yeah– – That is a pickle brand, yes.
– If it doesn’t snap, it’s not a pickle. – I’m a Mt. Olive man. Final answer?
– Yeah! – Wrong answer. The answer is bounce.
– Oh, what? – It has to–
– (inaudible) bounce your fricking pickle! – What, no.
– Once you bounce the pickle, you can’t – eat it anymore. Bounce it off what?
– Off a desk or a table! – A clean sanitary surface, I hope.
– Yes, I agree with that. But I mean, I also agree with the law ’cause if it’s not
bounceable then it’s basically just a… – a green banana.
– (laughing) Wow. Wow okay, well I’m using my logic muscle
here. Don’t get desperately hungry in Idaho, it’s the only state where getting
desperately hungry is illegal. (laughs) – I mean, I caught you! I got you!
– (both laugh) I’mma help you out here.
You didn’t catch me. – Okay, so come up with a better filling for the blank.
– Well what do you do when you get – desperately hungry, you starve?
– Okay. – But then you–
– Or? eat voraciously. Eating…eating fast. It’s the only state where
eating fast is illegal. I thought you might get this one but you’re not.
I’mma give you one more chance. Eating a lot. Eating too much! – Potatoes.
– Eating – oh okay, potatoes. That’s a – good guess, it is Idaho.
– Not eating potatoes! The answer is people. It’s cannibalism.
The only state where it’s technically illegal by name of cannibalism. Uh, title
eighteen, chapter fifty, Mayhem states that any person who willfully ingests the
flesh or blood of a human being is guilty of cannibalism. You can get up to
fourteen years in prison for that. Oh wow. Unless they’re made out of
potatoes, then you could eat ’em. No, unless it is an extreme life-threatening
condition as the only apparent means of survival. – Oh, really? They put that stipulation in there.
– They did. And just to note, I made sure that we had code for all of these because
there’s a lot of odd, dumb laws floating around the internet like fishing
from the back of a giraffe. That’s not a law anywhere, guys.
That’s someone trying to get your clicks. – Yeah, get those clicks.
– And we got your back here. These laws– – We got your back. You get the clicks.
– are for real. – In Dunn, North Carolina…
– Woo! This is like – this is ten minutes
from where we grew up. Best place on earth! – …it is illegal to–
– The cocaine capital of the world! What? – It was known as that.
– Yeah. It was just on the I-95 corridor and I
don’t know why but yeah. Uh, it is illegal – to blank on a city street in Dunn.
– Not be cool. I mean, you got to ask Dunn, man! I’ve never been to Dunn and seen a
not cool person on the city street. Gosh! To talk trash about Erwin.
No. That would – no that’s– – The denim capital of the world–
– That’s regulated, that’s– – is Erwin.
– required. Take a crap? – I hope that’s illegal but that’s not your answer.
– Yeah you can’t take a crap on any city street. Basically I’m giving you as many guesses
as you need in this game at this point. – Drive backwards. – (laughs) Go in reverse?
– I don’t know why– – i.e. reverse a vehicle?
– just seems like a – I’m just thinking about a street. You can’t drive
backwards for more than twelve feet. Tell me I’m right. – No, it involves a bodily function.
– You can’t pee on a city street. – Nope.
– You can’t poop on a city street– – Nope.
– I already said that. – Nope.
– You can’t vomit on a city street? – Nope, you’re getting closer.
– Oh gosh. The only other bodily fluid I can think of is spit. – (laughs)
– Yes, you got it! – Yes!
– Okay, I really want you to win this wanted poster. I saw a guy spit out front
of a Rose’s and a cop rubbed his face in it. – You know the Rose’s?
– (Rhett) Yeah I do. I used to always go in that
Rose’s out by Restler’s. Blanks. Childrens. – I love a long one of these on a porch.
– Uh…I think I know where this is going. Furniture. This is – you put – you’ve got –
this is when you put the couch on the porch. This is something that’s
done all across the South. – That’s right.
– You can’t do that. University of Colorado Boulder’s a party school.
They have a habit of burning couches– – Yeah.
– when they’re celebrating stuff. Like they just, “Put tater tots back
on the menu in the dining hall!” Yeah, right. – But no jail time.
– First thing that comes to mind is a fly. Your fly. – You know?
– That would be– – The barn door’s open, which incidentally,
I went on a date the other night with my wife and three hours into the date,
she was like, “Your fly is open.” – And you were like, “So is yours, we’re even.”
– (laughs) No, I was like, “Well thanks – for waiting until now.”
– (laughs) – That’s not what it is.
– That’s not it. – Window? Some kind of window.
– It’s Wyoming. Here’s your hint– – Corn.
– This is Wyoming. To close an ear of corn. To close a farm. You can’t close a farm. Can’t close a street. Can’t close a cow. – It’s fence.
– Oh, fence. Which makes sense, prevent livestock
from escaping, that’s their livelihood. I’m trying to take hints
from the region, Kansas. – It’s not gonna help you.
– You can’t own more than four Wizard of – Oz trinkets.
– Here’s a hint, Wellington– – ‘Cause you know you want more than that.
– That’s true. – To hand out to the grandkids.
– And they all have ’em. Wellington, Kansas has zero single women over the
age of forty, as a correlation. Zero single women? You can’t own
more than four single women? That’s… – I don’t think you can own any women.
– You’re not – my hint is not helping you. It was kind of a joke hint
but it should help you. Bottles of cologne? You can’t own more…cars. – What?
– No. It has something to do with the women? If you’re single and you’re over forty and
you’re a woman, you leave the state ’cause you can’t own more than four of these. High heels. It’s cats, Rhett. Oh. – I was throwing cats–
– You should’ve said older. – I was throwing cat ladies under the bus.
– Okay, alright. Okay, got it. Everything doesn’t go in West
Virginia, this does not go. Illegal to hunt or pursue a wild
animal using an alias. (laughs) (Old Western accent) No it’s not me. It’s
Richard McClellan (laughs) that’s hunting today. – You’re like – you’re like yelling at a deer?
– No, it’s Richard McClellan! Everything’s – gonna be okay!
– Chill out, deer! I’m just gonna aim at you. – (normal voice) That’s my go-to alias.
– No, it’s a pet that I’m afraid to pet. – That’s your hint.
– Oh, a raccoon. You can’t – no a cat. You can’t pet – a ferret. – You can’t pursue a wild animal using a ferret?
– That’s right! How did you get that? – I don’t know!
– My hint wasn’t that good. Fun fact: ferrets are not real, they’re
just stretched out noodle rats. Oh. – Next question, this is–
– Noodle rats? – This is for the win. Look it up.
– Okay. In Mississippi, M-I-double S-I-double S-I-
double humpback humpback-double I? – No.
– Single I. If you blank in front of two – or more people you can be fined up to $100.
– Mississippi. – If you blank in Mississippi in front of up to two people–
– Up to two people. – In front of two people or more, I should say.
– If you say you’re a vegan. – In Mississippi, you gonna–
– (laughs) You think they put that – officially on the books?
– Yeah. You gotta keep that to yourself! Keep that to yourself,
don’t say that in front of us! I’m not – I’m not saying that’s not on the
books but that’s not the law I found. I think if you pass gas,
I think this is a fart-a-rooney. If you fart in front of two or
more people you can be fined– – The fine’s $100.
– $100, yeah– – A fart, that would be more than $100.
– Really? Just a little (makes fart sound). – Just a little one?
– Yeah. – This involves the mouth.
– Mouth fart. – (both laugh)
– (Rhett makes fart sound with mouth) Hey, $100! Burp. You can’t burp in front of people? – (laughs) No, it’s curse.
– (both laugh) – I’m only thinking–
– You were getting scared for a second. I’m only thinking bodily functions. – You know what?
– I never grew up. I know, that was difficult, man.
I’mma give it to you anyway. You win this super cool wanted poster.
It’s Mike and Alex in the Good Mythical Crew episode. They wreaked havoc at a
putt-putt place, broke all kinds of laws – and they’re wanted. Or at least–
– Yeah I can tell. – That’s a wanted poster they made.
– This is official. – Put this at the post office.
– We’ll have to watch to get the full story. In the meantime, thanks for
liking, commenting, and subscribing. You know what time it is. Hi, it’s Sandy Beeler broadcasting live
from Elko, Nevada and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. If you want to hear an exclusive bedtime
story from us, the only place you can get that is on the Trivy app if you complete
the Good Mythical Facts Trivy pack. – Download that from the app store.
– Trivy! T-R-I-V-Y. Click through to Good Mythical More where we’re gonna play
Chubby Bunny, doughnut hole cop version. But not before face battle! 3, 2, 1! You win! 3, 2, 1! You win! Tie breaker! 3, 2, 1! Captioned by Lovely Luna
GMM Captioning Team ♪ (outro music) ♪
Male Speaker: A lot of
people wanted an Air Force solution to a military
problem that this Iran deal is solving. Female Speaker: I just want
to say thank you for putting this on the table, and I
think there’ll be a way to our troops to consider
(inaudible) put them in harm’s way, so thank you. Male Speaker: This may be
(inaudible) be the most important decision that our
senate makes and hopefully everything will go according
to plan because what my fear is as a proud veteran, my
family’s been serving since World War I including my dad
and my little brother still on active duty, that we may
find ourselves if we don’t do the right thing
losing our place as (inaudible). And as an American I like
being in that position. Male Speaker: No one wants
peace more than someone who’s seen war, and there
are things worth fighting for. And there are things worth
going to war for, but peace is worth fighting for too. And I really strongly
believe, sir, that even if we hadn’t come out of a
decade of a disastrous war, this would still be
the right thing to do. Male Speaker: Well, now that
when we wanted the room who
shared in that strategic disaster in 2003, that was
the invasion of Iraq, you’re going to have a hand in
promoting it, subsequently became aware of the fact
that we had essentially lied to the American people,
and it’s been (inaudible) everything that I could to
rectify that decision if you will. But I must tell you in the
40 years in government and in the military, the most
delicious words I’ve ever heard were the ones you
uttered, Mr. Secretary, and a lot of (inaudible)
important, and that is that when the nation reaches into
its toolbox of national power, it will reach the
diplomacy first, and the military last. And I assure you that every
soldier, sailor, airman, marine, coast guard feels
the same, and thank you. Male Speaker: There are no
strangers in the military. You know, we are all
friends, and brothers, and sisters. And I’m so happy to be part
of a peace negotiation. Male Speaker: I think a lot
of us have made a commitment that we’re going to live our
life to fight to make sure that no one else(inaudible). And so, I just think people
talk about the courage it takes to go to war, but
sometimes it’s a more courageous decision to fight
for peace, and on behalf of a lot of us, you know, I
just thank both of you for your leadership on this. (inaudible) great
comfort knowing we won the public debate. The President: Right now, if
I was taking the advice of some of the members of
Congress who holler all the time, we’d be in like,
seven more (inaudible). (laughter) I’m not exaggerating and
you know, I can count. We’d be in military actions
in seven places around the world.
Episode II: Complete Report Captain’s log, stardate 50281.28. U.S.S. Masaryk is in orbit of Betazed,
where we were tasked with conducting a regular inspection
of the local government office. On behalf of the government, Chandra Xerx, daughter of the Third House,
arrived to hear the preliminary conclusions. I’m more than satisfied with the situation
on Betazed, which, unfortunately, can not be said about my First Officer’s opinion… – And the planetary defense network
is in a totally inadequate state. Its last modernization took
place more than 50 years ago. Additionally, the Starfleet Officer at the
Embassy has repeatedly filed requests for assignment of a ground armed unit
to increase the safety of the planet. Nevertheless, you have never
forwarded his recommendations. But we do not consider it necessary…
– Bottom line. Betazed’s defense is
totally disastrous and this factor has been neglected
by your government for a long time. Which is all the more serious that the Federation
is in a state of war with the Dominion. – Commander, Betazed is a peaceful
planet taking pride in its culture, art, and belief in a
common understanding. We do not need an army. Besides, we are not in any
dispute with the Dominion. – She’s right, Laverna. Moreover, Betazed is not close to
any of the major stellar routes. So because of its zero strategic value,
the pursuit of its conquest would be a complete nonsense. – Even if that were true, Captain,
this is about the principles. Everyone has to be ready. Well, imagine for a moment that the
Dominion fleet really gets to Betazed. Oh, I can see the Female
Changeling as she says: Stop, this is Betazed, we are
not in any dispute with it, right turn Jem’Hadar, let’s
conquer Risa instead. – Joking is not necessary, Commander. As
could you and the Captain clearly see, in all other aspects our society
is well above the average. We have the lowest sickness rate, one of
the highest life expectancies, the economy is working even though we have transformed it from
market to central planning according to the Federation guidelines. And we have the lowest
number of social workers. – And that’s supposed to be a benefit? – Of course, ma’am. Standard equation. The number of social cases grows to employ
the number of workers assigned to them. – Anyway, thank you, Chandra. We will
prepare the final report within two days. – Thanks, Captain. Goodbye. – What have you done?
– Sir? – It’s not a report, it’s an execution. If
we send this message to the headquarters, Chandra Xerx and her entire
government are done. And yet they are one of the
best in the Federation. We need people like
them, they’re friends. – But they are not friends
of good defense, sir. I’m sorry, but it’s my duty to look into
such things in the planetary inspection. – Is that your final word?
– Yes, my report is final, plus it is backed up by a whole bunch of materials
that are attached to the inspection reports anyway. So, even if I praised
them to the skies, which I will not do, the
numbers are self-explanatory. The planet is totally unprepared.
We can send that report right away. – Let’s wait a bit. I told Chandra we were going to prepare
the final version in two days. I will have enough time to
arrange some drinking… some reception at the embassy and prepare the
members of the government for what is coming. Mitigate the wounds.
– If you think so, Captain. Now, if you’ll excuse me. – What a mess. Although she is right about the defense, the Federation
is not just about military pacts and the Starfleet. How will I look if I send a critical report about one
of the best governments we have in the Federation? Or is there a way to prevent it?
Mendon… am I talking to myself? – Excuse me, sir. I thought those were just rhetorical questions. If you want to know my opinion,
you can send a positive report. The overall tone of the message is
up to you, you are the Captain. – But Commander Laverna’s part
can not be changed or omitted. – No, but it’s actually
just a technical report. The overall assessment of the
Captain is of much greater weight. – I can not write the entire text completely
contrary to the opinion of the First Officer, which will be supported by the facts. What about all the reports of
defense incompetence? Unless…
– Sir? – The First Officer hands
over her part of the report, but the final inspection,
including the submission of the documents and the subsequent
dispatch, is up to the Captain, isn’t it? – Yes it is, but…
– I have an idea. Ask Commander Laverna to prepare the final
version of her report by 16:00 today. Then you will get me a report on the attached
documents in the following wording… First Officer’s Log. Our work on Betazed
is almost over. The Captain is skeptical
of my conclusions, but… …the planetary defense can not be
taken lightly at these times. Supplement: I feel sorry for Chandra Xerx, but they should have
thought of it before. End of record. – Well, Lieutenant? Has the
Captain finished his report yet? – Yes, ma’am.
– Great. Mine is already done too, I’ll hand it to him in a moment.
Just between the two of us, do not think I like to
throw mud at good people. But you know, it’s a
question of security… You shouldn’t tell on people,
but it needs to be reported? Somewhat rude, but accurate. You know, when the Federation and Starfleet Command
see in black and white what’s happening here, they’ll take care of it. It’s for
the good of Betazed, believe me. – As do you say,
ma’am, if they see… – Just a moment, I did not say IF they
see it, but WHEN they see it… Are you trying to tell
me something, Mendon? – May I have a hypothetical question regarding passing
information in the structure of the command? – That’s always a good idea. Let’s suppose that the
hypothetical captain, when submitting an alleged Federation
member report, decides… not to democratically publish
certain technical reports… for example on the
state of defense… to direct the reader to a particular view.
– That bastard… – I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have no
idea who you’re talking about. – No one, of course, I’m sorry,
proceed with the question. Had the hypothetical
assistant of this captain learned in all confidentiality
about this… decision, should he inform the co-author of
this report, the hypothetical first officer? – Of course not, if it was
said in all confidentiality. Do not forget the
official secret, Mendon. – I thought so, ma’am. Thank you
for refreshing my memory. – You’re welcome. And
thank you for your help. – As far as I know, I did
not tell you anything. – Of course not, that would
be extremely inappropriate. Now if you’ll excuse me, I
must to talk to the Captain. You have the bridge. – One, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten… – And I will send my final report with all the
proper data myself, protocol or no protocol! And now if you’ll excuse me, I have
some work to do in Engineering. – Remind me that I should never play
poker against Commander Laverna. – Yes, sir. – Mendon… come here. How did Laverna
learn about my plan to remove all the papers on
defense from the final report? – Commander is a woman and women, as
far as I know, have the ability to …look up information.
– Lieutenant. Consider your arguments. Commander Laverna is
a Starfleet Officer, so it’s not important what she
has between her legs, agreed? – Should I tell her or will you?
I’m sorry, sir. – You keep digressing. How did
Laverna learn about my plan? – You have to understand that
everything you say to me or I to you is completely confidential
within good practice. And so everything that you and Commander
Laverna tell each other is also confidential. – So?
– So with respect to this confidentiality, I hope that you are confident
that the talks between me and Commander Laverna are
completely confidential. Thanks to that, everything that is said between
me and you and her and me in all confidentiality remains confidential and the atmosphere among
the people in command is mutually confident… – Captain,
Admiral Nechayev from Starfleet Command calling. – We’ll get back to it
later, Lieutenant. Put her through. – Hello, Captain. – Admiral Nechayev.
To what do I owe the pleasure? – How is your inspection
on Betazed proceeding? We’re almost done. The complete report
will be sent within a few days. – Excellent. Where is
Commander Laverna? – She’s in Engineering,
ma’am, why are you asking? – It is my duty to inform
you that she has been accused of cooperating
with the Maquis. Your orders are to detain the Commander
and send her with a security escort on a runaboat to the headquarters where she will
be brought to the commission of inquiry. – Admiral, that can’t be…
the Commander? – Unfortunately, Alekos, it is true. I’m sending you details on
a confidential channel. And, Captain, keep it a secret. We do not need this kind of
publicity on Betazed or elsewhere. – Aye aye, ma’am. – Because of the situation I’ll get back to
you later about your new First Officer. It is understandable that you will
need a replacement for Laverna. Whether it will be a temporary or a permanent
one will depend on the investigation. But between the two of us, it doesn’t look
good. I would not count on her anymore. – Understood. – I’m sorry I had to tell you this. Safe travels. Command out. – Just what we needed. Lieutenant, get Laverna and tell
her to meet me in my ready room. And keep to yourself what you’ve
just heard. – Aye aye, sir. – The same goes for you.
– Aye aye, sir. – Cooperation with the Maquis? High treason?
That’s ridiculous, sir. I would never be party
to such a thing. Is it some kind of a joke?
– It’s no joke. I have the information right
here from Admiral Nechayev. – But how did she come
up with such a thing? – I don’t want to beat around the bush.
Do you know Thomas Riker? – Yes, I… I know him. – Thomas Riker, a duplicate of Commander
William Riker. He’s recently deserted, joined the Maquis and attempted
to steal U.S.S. Defiant. He was imprisoned in a
Cardassian labor camp. His crew was released to the Federation. And during the subsequent interrogations of
these renegades, your name was mentioned. – But, Captain, that’s
all a misunderstanding. I used to know Tom Riker, yes. But I did not know anything
about his illegal activities. My relationship with him was…
personal. – I think I understand. Intimate? – Yes, sir. – I’m sorry, I had to ask. So did you meet him and his friends
on a purely personal basis? – Exactly so. Yes, I dated Tom Riker. It was beautiful, he was kind and
attentive. But then we broke up. He went his way, and I went mine. If he was in contact with the Maquis
at the time of our relationship, I did not know about it.
You have to believe me. – I believe you, Laverna.
– Thank you. – Unfortunately, my trust is not enough. You’ll fly to the headquarters and
to the commission of inquiry. You have nothing to fear, in such cases the
commission consists of trained telepaths. If you are not guilty,
they will exonerate you. – But the investigation will take a
long time. What about my job here? Will they replace me? – I’m afraid they will. I can not do
without the First Officer, not now. Not even temporarily. – I understand. I know how it works.
When the commission is done with me, it is possible that I will not come back here, I
will be transferred elsewhere. Things happen fast. – That is true. – Sir, despite all our disagreements, I…
I’m happy to be here. I don’t want to end up on a remote base or a
transport ship and you know it might happen. I haven’t done anything wrong.
Can’t we do something about it? – We might be able to… Yes, Commander. We are, after all, in orbit of Betazed, the planet of the best
telepaths in the Federation. Chandra Xerx happens to be an
approved fleet trained telepath. She could scan you and give Admiral
Nechayev a testimony of your innocence. – Would she do that for me? After that report of mine that
might ruin her and her government? – Yes, that unfortunate report. We haven’t sent it yet. I believe that if it’s tone was…
milder, I could convince Chandra
to do that thing for you. – I understand now. To be exonerated I should turn a blind eye. That sounds like
blackmailing, sir. – Be sensible. Betazed will survive without
fleet shows and military equipment. Your career and the welfare of the entire planet
in exchange for your military conscience. I think it’s a decent deal. The universe helps those
who help themselves. – OK then. But I keep telling
you all the time. You’re cynical and you’ll
end up badly, Captain. – As will everyone, Laverna. – So her only connection with Tom
Riker was on the level… ? – I think the modern term for this is
horizontal jogging, Admiral, yes. – Who would have guessed, a
workaholic like you, Laverna… – It confirms the general theory that
people active and thorough in one area are equally single-tracked
in a totally different way. – So there was
nothing more to it? – You can trust me. Commander’s
interest in men is purely physical. The only thing she would remember if she dated
Chancellor Gowron would be that his
mustache tickles. – Very colorful, madam Xerx. Thank you for your
time and testimony. Commander Laverna, in the light of this…
information, I can tell you with clear conscience that the
investigation of your person is completely stopped. I wish you and the Masaryk safe travels.
Goodbye, Captain. Nechayev, out. – That was… ehm… thorough. – I apologize for the invasion of
privacy, but it had to be done. – I understand and thank you. Thanks to you I don’t have to face the commission
of inquiry, where it would be discussed anyway. – Thank you, Chandra. Now
if you’ll excuse us. – Of course, Captain. Good bye. – Lieutenant Morávek, report to the bridge.
You’re in command. – Aye aye, sir. – Well, Commander, this is over.
Now to that report. Shall we finalize it
in my ready room? – Yes, sir. – So, that should be all, and
we can hand the report in. – Yes, sir. Just one question. I’ve changed my
assessment but… how do you explain the
missing data on defense? Numbers can not be deceived, and they show that the
planet is totally unprepared regardless of what
you or I claim. – Read and learn. – Attached to the report, you will
find all technical status reports, except for those included
in current secret files, information that could lead to
misinterpretations or honor insults, documents that were lost
during the embassy… ..embassy’s relocation and messages lost during the natural
disaster in the winter of… That year was a particularly
devastating winter on Betazed? – No, it was a wonderful winter. Many
compromising documents disappeared. – That is quite a list. How many documents are there
left for them to see? About fifty? Twenty? Ten? Five? One? Zero?
– Exactly, Commander. Two years after this incident, the Dominion fleet attacked
and, due to the lack of defense, annexed Betazed. Written and directed by Production Camera Editing and postproduction Masks and make-up Music and 3D animation Sound Starring Crew Opening credits Set Set built by Special thanks to Subtitles © Barevná @ Ziina, Star Trek Diplomacy
[Questioner] If we want to succeed in our life which will play a major role Guruji – fate, God, effort or luck? [Sadhguru] Or winning a election? (Laughter) [Questioner] If we want to win in election, that our luck is also important. [Sadhguru] Fate, God, luck, effort – maybe all of them, (laughs) but in what proportion? So when you say fate, obviously it’s something that you cannot do anything about. When you say luck, again obviously it’s something that you cannot do anything about. When you say God, again it’s something that you cannot do anything about. So only thing that’s in your hands is effort. So put your 100% into your effort, what happens happens, isn’t it? (Laughs) (Applause) So don’t leave proportions of your energy and your capability to luck¸ God, fate, all these things; that’s not your business. If there is such a thing, it will act. Your business is only effort, isn’t it? Just do that. Effort has to be incisive, in the sense, it should be focused, calibrated. Simply if you make effort, it’s foolish effort, isn’t it? Just labor is not going to get you somewhere, right kind of action, the right timing, right place, all this is important, isn’t it? So for all these things to happen, you need perception and intelligence. So that’s all you must do in your life constantly looking for ways to enhance your perception and your intelligence; rest will anyway happen. This is one thing that unfortunately humanity is not doing. They’re trying to become capable of something. Do not try to become capable of something, just enhance your perception and intelligence, whatever comes your way… Right now, let us say it’s like this, you know, this is happening in the world all the time. Everybody wants to become a doctor. Not now, 25 years ago it was so. If you want to study means first thing is medicine. If you don’t get a seat, what’s next? Engineering. Don’t get a seat, what? Next thing, next thing, like this. So let’s say you became a doctor and let us say everybody came to the yoga program and they stopped going to a doctor. At least your visits to the doctor has come down, isn’t it? Has it? Has it come down or no? [Audience] Yes. For sure it’s come down. So business will go down. It will no more be a good profession to go into because very few doctors are becoming doctors because they want to become doctors, others are becoming doctors because they think it’s lucrative, isn’t it? Isn’t it so? Most people are becoming doctors because they think somebody’’s sickness is a lucrative business. (Laughs) It’s a very I don’t want to go into other aspects, it’s quite disturbing for me (Laughs) There are a few doctors who really want to be that, they want to understand the human system and they want to serve in that direction, that’s great. Suppose everybody became healthy – you don’t want that, isn’t it? Yes, you don’t want that. (Laughs) So do not try to put up a recipe for your success. Success is only when you’re able to use yourself to your full potential. It doesn’t matter whether you become a doctor or a politician or a yogi or what the hell you become is not the thing. Success means you are living your life to your full potential, that’s what success means. If that has to happen, you need perception and an active intelligence. ‘How do I grow my intelligence?’ Don’t worry about that. Right now the important thing is to enhance your perception. If you’re able to see life just the way it is, you have the necessary intelligence to conduct it well. If you’re not able to see life the way it is, your intelligence will work against you. Most intelligent people on this planet are generally the most miserable people on the planet. This is simply because they have an active intelligence but no perception of life. So one thing, one most important thing that people have not worked at, is to enhance their perception. They’re trying to broaden their mind – that’s not the point; that will only make you socially successful, not truly successful. If you want to be truly successful, you must be able to see everything just the way it is, without distortions. If you can see everything just the way it is, life becomes a play, you can play it joyfully, you can play it well for sure. If you can play it well people will say you’re successful. You should never think ‘I want to be successful.’ Don’t ever think ‘I want to be successful.’ Just see how to make this being into a full-fledged being. People will say one day, ‘Oh, he is successful, he is a great success.’ You should not be aspiring for success; it’s a miserable way to structure your life. You will simply cause pain and suffering to yourself and suffering to everybody because your idea of success is sitting on top of somebody’s head, isn’t it? Yes or no? Your idea of success is right now everybody should be below you, you must be on the top – this is your idea of success. This is not success, this is sickness. So do not ever think of success. Just see how to make this into a full-fledged being, this will find expression. If it finds good expression, people around you will say, ‘Oh, he is a great success!’ That’s fine. People should recognize you’re a success. You should not be thinking how to be successful – very wrong way to approach life.
Hi my name is Tony
and this is Every Frame a Painting. If you grew up like I did, you
probably watched a lot of Looney Tunes. And if you paid attention to the credits then you recognize this name. -“My full name is
Charles Martin Jones.” -“This is not where I really belong.” -“I belong behind the camera.” Chuck Jones is one of the
all-time masters of visual comedy. Between 1938 and 1962
he directed more than 200 cartoons
for Warner Bros. Ten films a year,
six minutes per film. What’s astonishing is that they hold up
more than 50 years later. And among them are some of the
greatest short films ever made. But none of this happened overnight.
It was a long process. So today, let’s take a look… at how a good artist became a great one. -“All right.
Let’s get this picture started!” -“No! No!” The most famous aspect
of any Chuck Jones cartoon (and the parts you probably remember)
are the jokes written by
Michael Maltese and Tedd Pierce. Nearly every gag here follows
a classic two-part structure. The first part… leads you to make an assumption.
The second part… proves it wrong. That’s it. Assumption: Reality. And in the early cartoons,
the jokes are fantastic and they happen one after the other. But here’s the truth:
the gags are only the surface level. What really sets these films apart is the amount of work
that was put into character. And that process took a long time. -“All characters are
a process of learning.” -“It’s hard for people to
understand who watch actors… -“…to realize that, actors come with
an ability. They’ve played other parts.” -“Hello.” -“When you bring in a drawing,
all you have is a drawing.” -“And you have to put in the character.” Consider the case of Daffy Duck. When he first started out… Daffy was more or less insane. -“Gosh what a screwy duck.” But over the course of 15 years,
he changed from being the one who laughs
to being the butt of the joke. This Daffy is less crazy but
it’s easier to understand what he wants. He wants money. He wants to be a star. In short, he wants glory. -“This looks like a job for… -“…The Masked Avenger!” In fact, all of Chuck Jones’ characters
have very clearly defined wants. This one wants a home. This one wants to daydream. And this one just wants
somebody to love. -“Ah my little darling.
It is love at first sight, is it not?” Notice that every desire here
is very simple. And the simpler the desire,
the more vivid the character. Once you know
what the character wants you can figure out
the next question: How does this
particular individual move? -“Every action is dictated
by what goes on inside of you.” -“You have to be able to think
the way the character thinks.” -“If you can’t tell what’s happening
by the way the character moves…” -“…you’re not animating.” -“I am a snake and
you have charmed me, no?” -“It helps to have the dialogue…” -“…but the dialogue is not
the thing that makes it work.” -“The story should tell itself
by the way it moves.” So let’s say you know
what the character wants and you know how they move to get it. What about the jokes? What happens to the assumption… and the reality? Well, now the assumption includes
the personality of the character. For instance, we know that
Daffy will always pick a fight because it’s part of
his desire for glory. -“Take over.” Likewise, we know
the Coyote’s device will fail so Jones can play this gag offscreen which ends up making it funnier. But there is a danger to this approach. If you just focus on great jokes
with the same well-defined characters you can easily get trapped in a formula. -“Sometimes I feel
very sorry for the Coyote.” -“Sometimes I wish he’d catch him.” -“If he caught him
there wouldn’t be any more Road Runner.” -“You wouldn’t like that, would you?” So to avoid this problem,
Jones did something. This is one of the
defining aspects of his work. It’s a word that he uses and
that other people use about him. -“Beep Beep!” -“It also stands out as an example
of the kind of discipline…” -“…Chuck Jones liked
to set for himself.” -“This is the vital factor in
all comedy or all drama.” -“What are your disciplines?” Discipline. The challenges and
restrictions you set for yourself. Like designing a character
with no mouth. Or no face. Or using no dialogue except for this. -“Hello my baby, hello my honey,
hello my ragtime gal.” Because animation lets you do anything you have to think about
what you won’t do. And in Jones’ case,
there were lots of rules about the world, the characters
and their behavior. For instance, Bugs Bunny
never picked a fight. Somebody had to do this… -“Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!
Kill the wabbit!” …and only then would he fight back. -“Kill the wabbit?” -“Bugs Bunny is not just
an insane rabbit.” -“Somebody’s always trying to get him.
And he’s retaliating.” -“He has to be provoked.
And we learned that.” -“It was very important
that he be provoked.” -“Because otherwise,
he’d be a bully.” -“Of course you realize
this means war.” A similar restriction happened to
how the characters expressed themselves. Early on, they tended to go through
a quick barrage of facial expressions. But over time, these grew less and less. -“Particularly in the later films
Chuck became very fond…” -“…of using the smallest
possible gestures…” -“…facial gestures to get laughs.” -“Chuck’s facial expressions
were the best in the business…” -“…Because he was a minimalist.” -“All humor grows from two things.” -“All humor, I believe, comes from
human behavior and logic.” -“If it’s not logical
it’s not gonna be funny… -“…And if it doesn’t come from
human behavior…” -“…how the hell
do you know it’s funny?” Think of it this way:
this is human behavior. -“Ha ha! Now!” That was logic. And the logic is something
you improve at over time. But what about human behavior? How do you improve at
understanding that? The truth is, there’s only one way. And it’s not by watching films. -“When you talk to Chuck,
he is always encouraging you…” -…to go to the source:
to study real life, to study art…” -“…and apply that to your animation.
It’s not just drawing funny faces.” Jones believed it wasn’t enough
to just watch movies. You had to have interests
outside of film. You had to study real life. Most of all, he encouraged this: -“Reading. Read Everything.” -“It doesn’t do you
much good to draw…” -“…unless you have
something to draw…” -“…and the only place
you can get anything to draw…” -“…is from out of that head.” -“And the only way that
you can exercise the mind…” -“…is by bringing new ideas to it…” -“…So it’ll be surprised.” -“And say ‘God I didn’t know that.'” -“That’s the greatest thing
in the world…” -“…that ‘Gee I didn’t know that.’
And there you are, you know?” There you are.
It’s not just about gags. Not just about characters. Not just about discipline. It’s about studying the real world
and learning something new. Then putting that back into the work. In other words, inspiration. And the great thing about
this kind of inspiration? -“You can find it anyplace.
You can find it anyplace.”
>>Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. BEFORE THE COMMERCIAL BREAK,
WHICH I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE INTERNET
CONSPIRACY THEORY THAT HILLARY CLINTON IS SUFFERING FROM BRAIN
DAMAGE. WHAT IS STILL “EMBUNKED” IS
HILLARY CLINTON AND HER EMAILS. YESTERDAY, IT CAME OUT THAT THE
F.B.I. HAS UNCOVERED 15,000 MORE PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN EMAILS
FROM HER PRIVATE SERVER. THAT IS RIDICULOUS. I HAVE THOUSANDS OF UNREAD
EMAILS IN MY OWN INBOX. NOW I HAVE TO READ 15,000 OF
HERS? BY THE WAY– AND I MEAN THIS
INSERIOUS– match.com, THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME ALL THOSE
PROFILES OF AVAILABLE AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN IN THEIR 40s FROM
THE CAPE GIRARDEAUX AREA OF MISSOURI, BUT I’M GOOD. THIS IS A TRUE STORY. MY KIDS THOUGHT MY WIFE AND I
WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH ON match.com AND SAID WHY DON’T WE
SIGN YOU UP FOR match.com SEPARATELY TO SEE IF THE
COMPUTERS WOULD MATCH YOU BECAUSE WE THINK THEY WOULD
MATCH YOU. I TOLD THEM, DO NOT DO THAT. I DO NOT WANT ANYBODY REPORTING
THAT STEPHEN COLBERT SIGNED UP FOR match.com. THEY SAID THEY DIDN’T, BUT I
HAVE STARTED RECEIVING E-MAILS FROM match.com THAT FOR SOME
REASON ARE SENDING ME MID-40s, VERY FRIENDLY LOOKING
FULL-FIGURED SISTERS.>>Jon: OH, YEAH! HEY!>>Stephen: YEAH, YEAH. AND ASKING ME TO HOLLA-BACK. ( APPLAUSE )
I’M FLATTERED. I UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL. BUT THANK YOU BUT NO THANK YOU. NOW, WHERE WAS I? WHERE WAS I? HILLARY CLINTON. HILLARY CLINTON. NOW HERE’S THE DEAL WITH HILLARY
AND THE E-MAILS. THERE ARE SO MANY OF THESE
HILLARY EMAILS THAT THE STATE DEPARTMENT SAYS THEY’LL BE
PUTTING THEM OUT IN BATCHES, WITH THE THE FINAL BATCH
SCHEDULED TO BE RELEASED. FOUR DAYS BEFORE ELECTION DAY. AND ELECTION DAY BY MY
CALCULATIONS IS STILL– LET’S SEE–
( LAUGHTER ) A REASON TO DRINK. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) BUT THERE’S ACTUALLY ANOTHER
‘NOTHER NEW BATCH OF CLINTON EMAILS. AND THESE ARE ONES ABOUT HER
TIES TO DONORS AT THE CLINTON FOUNDATION, WHICH IS A CHARITY
SET UP TO DISTRIBUTE AID AROUND THE WORLD, AND JUST AS
IMPORTANTLY, TO KEEP BILL CLINTON BUSY ENOUGH THAT HE
DOESN’T SPEND ALL DAY TRYING TO GET SECRET SERVICE TO GO TO
HOOTERS WITH HIM. THEY GOT CLAM STRIPS. THEY GOT CLAM STRIPS. DELICIOUS. AND THESE EMAILS SHOW HOW THE
FOUNDATION’S DONORS SOMETIMES GOT ACCESS TO CLINTON WHILE SHE
WAS SECRETARY OF STATE. SOUNDS SHADY. BUT WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS
SURROUNDING ALL OF THESE EMAILS, IT’S HARD TO TELL WHAT’S REALLY
A THING AND WHAT’S NOTHING AT ALL. SO TO FIGURE IT OUT, LET’S BRING
OUT THE LATE SHOW’S THING-O-METER. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OKAY, OKAY. THIS IS THE THING-O-METER. IT SHOWS HOW STUFF RATES ON A
SCALE OF “THING,” TO “NOT A THING.” FOR EXAMPLE, OVER HERE AT
“THING,” YOU HAVE IGNEOUS ROCK. CLEARLY A “THING.” AND WE KNOW ROCKS ARE A THING
BECAUSE ROCKS ARE WHAT THE THING IS MADE OUT OF. HERE IN THE MIDDLE IS “MAYBE A
THING,” REPRESENTED BY HIDDLESWIFT, WHICH MAY BE A
THING, BUT I ALSO HEAR IS NOT A THING. HONESTLY, WHO KNOWS? STAY SAFE, YOU GUYS. NOW, AND OVER HERE IS “NOT A
THING,” REPRESENTED BY MIKE PENCE MANIA, WHERE TEENS TAKE
PICTURES OF THEMSELVES DRESSED AS MIKE PENCE. WHICH, I PROMISE YOU, IS NOT A
THING. YET, YET. SO LET’S RESET THE
THING-O-METER, AND LET’S FIND OUT IF THE CLINTON
FOUNDATION SCANDAL IS REALLY A THING. HERE’S WHAT CAME OUT IN THE
EMAILS. FIRST, THEY SHOW TIES TO A
CHARISMATIC, POWER-HUNGRY INTERNATIONAL LEADER: BONO. HE’S A CLINTON FOUNDATION DONOR,
AND HE GOT THEM TO SEND AN EMAIL TO SECRETARY CLINTON’S TOP AIDE
HUMA ABEDIN, REQUESTING A “LINKUP WITH THE INTERNATIONAL
SPACE STATION ON EVERY SHOW DURING THE TOUR THIS YEAR. ANY IDEAS?”
( LAUGHTER ) CLINTON’S STAFF WROTE BACK, “NO
CLUE.” ( APPLAUSE )
IN OTHER WORDS, HE STILL HASN’T FOUND WHAT HE’S LOOKING FOR. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NO, OKAY. SO I’M GOING TO SAY– I’M GOING
TO SAY NOT A THING. NOW LET’S RESET AGAIN. LET’S RESET AGAIN. SO WHAT ELSE WAS IN THESE
EMAILS? A REQUEST CAME TO THE FOUNDATION
FOR SECRETARY CLINTON TO MEET WITH ANOTHER MAJOR DONOR, THE
CROWN PRINCE OF BAHRAIN. AND THIS TIME, HE GOT A MEETING. ANYONE CAN SEE THAT LOOKS BAD–
DOESN’T TAKE A BAH-RAIN SURGEON OR FOR THAT MATTER A ROCKET
SCIENTIST. THOUGH IF YOU ARE A ROCKET
SCIENTIST, COULD YOU PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH BONO? ( LAUGHTER )
BUT THIS MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY BE A THING, BECAUSE THE EMAILS ALSO
REVEAL THAT THE MEETING WAS REQUESTED AND SET UP THROUGH
OFFICIAL CHANNELS. WOW. I AM IMPRESSED THAT THE PRINCE
OF BAHRAIN USED OFFICIAL STATE DEPARTMENT COMMUNICATION
CHANNELS. EVEN HILLARY CLINTON DIDN’T DO
THAT! SO I’M GOING TO SAY– I’M GOING
TO SAY BETWEEN MAYBE A THING AND A THING. WE RESET. THE TECHNOLOGY BEHIND THIS IS SO
ADVANCED. THE EMAILS ALSO SHOW A REQUEST
FROM A CLINTON FOUNDATION DONOR TO GET A VISA FOR A BRITISH
SOCCER PLAYER WITH A CRIMINAL. RECORD. HOWEVER, THE VISA WAS NEVER
GRANTED. SO I’M GOING TO SAY THIS, AS
WELL AS SOCCER, “NOT A THING.” ( APPLAUSE )
NOW, ALL THESE REQUESTS WERE BEING HANDLED BY HUMA ABEDIN. AND I’D JUST LIKE TO SAY,
BETWEEN BEING HILLARY CLINTON’S AIDE AND ANTHONY WEINER’S WIFE,
I DO NOT ENVY HER LIFESTYLE. “I’M SO SICK OF THESE EMAILS. LET’S SEE WHAT’S ON TWITTER! OH GOD!”
THAT– THAT IS DEFINITELY A THING. ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )( CHEERS )
AND– NOW, HERE’S SOMETHINGELSE– I LOVE YOU. AND HERE’S SOMETHING ELSE THAT
SEEMS LIKE A THING: SINCE THESE EMAILS CAME OUT, BILL CLINTON
HAS ANNOUNCED THAT “THE FOUNDATION WILL STOP ACCEPTING
CORPORATE AND FOREIGN DONATIONS IF HILLARY CLINTON IS ELECTED.” SO MAYBE HILLARY’S TIES TO THE
CLINTON FOUNDATION ARE NOT A THING. BUT, CLEARLY, BILL CLINTON
THINKS THEY’RE A THING, WHICH… IT’S KIND OF “A THING.” SO THE CLINTON FOUNDATION
SCANDAL LANDS RIGHT UP THERE AT “MAYBE A THING,” WHICH IS THE
SAME RANKING AS BALD GUYS WITH PONYTAILS. BECAUSE IT MAY NOT BE A CRIME,
BUT IT SURE DOESN’T LOOK GOOD.
Existence – the physical universe, is basically playful. There is no necessity for it whatsoever. It isn’t going anywhere, that is to say, it doesn’t have some destination that it ought to arrive at. But, it is best understood by analogy with music. Because music, as an art form, is essentially playful. We say you play the piano. You don’t work the piano. Why? Music differs from, say, travel. When you travel, you are trying to get somewhere. One doesn’t make the end of the composition the point of the composition. If that were so, the best conductors would be those who played fastest. (laughter in audience) And there would be composers who wrote only finales. People would go to concerts just to hear one cracking chord, ’cause that’s the end. (laughing) Same when dancing – you don’t aim at a particular spot in the room, that’s where you should arrive. The whole point of the dancing is the dance! Now, but we don’t see that as something brought by our education into our everyday conduct. We’ve got a system of schooling, which gives a completely different impression. It’s all graded. And what we do is we put the child into the corridor, of this grade system, with a kind of “Come on, kitty kitty kitty” and now, you go to kindergarten, you know, and that’s a great thing because when you finish that you get into first grade. And then, come on, first grade leads to second grade and so on and then you get out of grade school and you go to high school, and it’s revving up – the thing is coming! And then you’re gonna go to college and, by Jove, then you’ll get into graduate school, and when you’re through with graduate school you’ll go out to join the world. And then you’ll get into some racket, where you’re selling insurance. And they’ve got that quota to make. And you’re gonna make that. And all the time that thing is coming, it’s coming, it’s coming, that great thing – the success you’re working for. Then, when you wake up one day about forty years old, you say, “My God, I’ve arrived. I’m there!” And you don’t feel very different from what you always felt. By expectation, look at the people who live to retire and put those savings away. And then, when they’re 65, they don’t have any energy left, they’re more or less impotent and uh, they go and rot in an old people’s “senior citizen’s community”. Ha ha Because we simply cheated ourselves the whole way down the line. We thought of life by analogy with a journey with a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end. Success, or whatever it is, or maybe Heaven after you’re dead. But, we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing, and you were supposed to sing, or to dance, while the music was being played. For more interesting videos like this one, please subscribe.