[Ethan] Welcome back, guys. Today we have a very juicy video on deck, because me and Hila always agree. We always go into a video agreeing and being like: ‘This is cancer, let’s talk about it.’ [Hila] Yeah. [Ethan] But this time, I hope you’re ready to go to war. When I saw this video, I was like: ‘Yo, Hila, Look how stupid this is, we need to talk about it.’ And she looks at me and she goes: ‘Well, maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.’ And I was like: ‘Oh fuck, dude, we’re going to need to have some beef on camera right now.’ So we’ve been putting doing this video off for a minute, because Hila was like: ‘This is a real issue.’ [Hila] It is an issue, but the video is ridiculous, which is why we kind of agree. [Ethan] We kind of agree. The issue is, by the way, “Manspreading” So manspreading, if you don’t know, is when a man is on a bus or a subway or any public place, and apparently, according to these women on Buzzfeed, yes, it’s Buzzfeed! All men sit like this. By the way, what’s the deal with how women take up every fucking seat with their bags? I’ve seen more women taking up fucking empty subway seats with their fucking purses, than I’ve seen men spreading their legs. [Hila] I have never seen that. [Ethan] Yeah, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I told you I’m going to war. Let’s go to war together! Let’s jump right in to this Buzzfeed exclusive, ’10 Exciting Ways to Make Men Look Like Little Bitches’. [Kuwilileni] ‘My balls, I don’t want my balls sticking to my legs.’ [Ethan] First of all, fuck off. It’s not about balls sticking to legs. It’s about literally smashing my balls and testicles. Like, I see dainty little girls sitting on a subway like this. They sit like this and God bless them, good for them. I have shit here! I can’t, it’s smushing my junk! I gotta sit like this [Hila] I agree with that, okay. [Ethan] Like, by the way, and look they’re showing. That guy is sitting, like, pretty fucking reasonably, and there’s plenty of space on that bench. *Ethan coughs* [Ethan] I’m like 4 seconds in and I’m already pissed off I’m already straight triggered, Buzzfeed. And you, and you let it happen. You were right there with them. [Hila] I’m triggered too, because I can’t stand Buzzfeed. [Ethan] Well, I see your point, because you’re like: ‘We can have a normal conversation about this without making it sound like men need to be beheaded and their heads put on stakes.’ [Hila] Exactly, they make it so extreme. [Ethan] That being said, you’re wrong. [Hila] It’s like when social justice warriors ruin feminism. [Ethan] Right. [Hila] I care about feminism, but then there’s these extreme ones that completely ruin it for everyone. [Ethan] Are you “femalesplaining” me right now? [Hila] Yeah. [Ethan] Do you know when a female explains something, that’s really condescending? No, you’re right. I completely agree with you. [Tan] Manspreading is when a man spreads his physical body to take up as much space as humanly possible. [Ethan] “Take up as much space as humanly possible.” The clips show men sitting in my opinion, reasonably. [Hila] Yeah, I agree. I agree which is why it’s so annoying [Ethan] As much space as humanly possible! Implying that I’m sitting on the subway like “This is all me!” [Hila] She’s talking about it like they decided to do it on purpose. [Ethan] Yeah, yeah. [Hila] ‘Let’s see how much space I can take.’ [Ethan] ‘Let’s see how many women I can piss off today on the subway ride. That’s what I’m thinking about.’ [Kuwilileni] The people around you are relegated to a very small portion [Ethan] That one’s pretty bad, that one’s pretty bad. [Hila] That happens though. [Ethan] Yes it happens… [Hila] That’s my point! [Ethan] Okay, that’s fine. [Hila] I won! [Ethan] This guy’s a douchebag. They’ve showed like five guys and only one of them has been kind of outrageous. [Hila] Yeah I, I agree. I think most men are pretty good about this and they’re not that, like, this is ridiculous. [Ethan] Thank you. Thanks for saying that. [Kuwilileni] But the key to manspreading is not noticing. [Chelsea] We grow up on two different tracks people who manspread just are socialized not to worry about it. [Ethan] OK! These guys are sitting like this because they’re being really respectful. Look at this guy on the right He’s sitting away from the person next to him, so he doesn’t intrude on their space. This is a nice guy And you’re showing him like “Oh fuck this, Fuck you, Tan! With your edgy hipster hat. [Hila] Well she’s just… [Ethan] She’s just what? “Womansplaining” me? Yeah, I know what Tan’s doing. [Hila] I mean, it’s Buzzfeed, you need to blame Buzzfeed not her. [Ethan] No, I blame Tan. It’s like, yeah, when the Nazis, ok, said ‘I was just following orders’, What does Tan say? You know what I mean? It’s the same exact shit. [Tan] I have so many vivid memories as a child of my mum telling me to close my legs. [Ethan] Close your legs? Maybe that was about something else, Tan. I have sooo many vivid memories of my mom telling me to close my legs Tan, listen, this is about manspreading. I dont know what traumatic shit you’ve been through but leave that out of it. Why do you always have you legs open, Tan? Close your legs! (Tan in the background) as a child, my mom telling me to close my legs (Ethan) You’re disgusting Tan, close your legs! The whole family can see (Tan) my legs (Ethan) Close your legs, Tan Tan, would you close your legs for Christ’s sake? (Tan) memories as a child of my mom telling me to close my legs I kind of secretly hope to annoy (zooms in) some men That’s my first train trip as a manspreader, I just feel like a monster already. How can you do this every day without being conscious of it? (Ethan) Okay (Hila) Okay (Ethan) You are being an obnoxious person. (Hila) That is not manspreading, that is just like (Ethan) That’s just being an obnoxious person.
(Hila) Yeah. (Chelsea) I just manspread on the bus for maybe a five minute ride for the first time and it wasn’t even half full and I was already getting glared at so I think that this is gonna be a kinda long week. (Ethan) Can you at least acknowledge that men have fuckin twigs and berries between their legs. Like if I cut off my dick and balls, which is apparently what you want me to do, I could happily sit with my thighs closed (Day Two) (Tan) It’s day two of manspreading and I forgot that I have to do this (Ethan) How about purse spreading? Let’s make a Buzzfeed video about purse spreading No, womanspreading, with their huge fucking purses ok I don’t know what’s with women, why they think they have to bring the whole kitchen and the kitchen sink with them in their purse ok not my problem. Put it in your fuckin’ lap next time. Womanspreader *Hila chuckles* I don’t know about that Dude, that’s real, y’all know that one’s real [Kuwilileni] Whenever a woman takes up space She’s considered bossy, she’s considered agressive There are a lot of stereotype surrounding black women And whether or not we’re angry or dominant And so maybe a lot of the reasons why I do minimalize my presence is because I don’t wanna be perceived Or engage with those stereotypes [Hila] You gotta acknowledge that you’re wearing a dress And to stand like- yeah, there’s women stereotypes and all that but you’re wearing a dress [Ethan] That’s such a good point [Hila] And you’re opening up your [Ethan] your crotch [Hila] your crotch [Ethan] I mean I [Hila] Yeah it’s weird [Ethan] Yeah, it’s weird And I like [Hila] not because you’re a woman, because you’re wearing a dress [Ethan] you just got slam-dunked by one of your own [Tan] what is it between their legs that’s so important [Ethan] DICK AND BALLS!!! It doesn’t fit, you can’t squish it, it’s not comfortable What is- what?? [Hila] That was really stupid [Ethan] god [Tan] what is it between their legs that’s so important, that it requires two to three seats When there are kids, families, women and elderly people standing up [Hila] that- ok no one does that [Tan] that it requires two to three seats [Ethan] literally fuckin’ Hulk Hogan could lay out Toe to- toe to tip And not take two to three- maybe he’ll take three seats [Tan] Women are expected to be quiet, small and almost invisible, whereas men [Ethan] dude, this guy is doing his absolute best How are you gonna talk shit on this guy [Hila] I think maybe they’re just frustrated because men just end up taking more space [Ethan] but they don’t acknowledge the biological need They just frame it as “All men are monsters and need to be castrated” We need to cut their dicks off so they can close their legs [Hila] Yeah [Ethan] Just like my mom used talk me- talk to me about all the time [Tan] many vivid memories as a child of my mum telling me to close my legs [Ethan] Tan, would you close your legs for christ’s sake [Tan] Women are expected to be quiet, small and almost invisible, whereas men can be those boisterous slobs And it’s all good [Chelsea] Today [Ethan] How can you show this in good conscience and be like “All men are fucking monsters Here’s a drunk homeless guy taking a nap on the bus [Hila] Yeah that’s insane [Ethan] He’s not even manspreading, he’s just fucking passed out [Hila] Something is wrong there, but it’s not, it’s not the manspreading [Ethan] The guy clearly- yeah, the problems go deeper than manspreading at this point [Tan] I’ve not enjoyed this week at all. The very first day where a group of people came on that were going to a game And they were all desperate for a seat and I was taking up three seats [Ethan] That’s not manspreading that’s just you being a fucking asshole! [Hila] this is so stupid [Ethan] How is that manspreading, your legs are closed, you’re just being a fucking dick You’re not even following the own- your only rules of your experiment And by the way, I have seen women, believe it or not, sitting like that on the bus or subway It happens to both genders *Ethan coughs* [Tan] To be forced to manspread really showed me how up your own ass you have to be as a person to not be conscious of those around you [Ethan] So uh, today I’m doing a manspreading experiment I wanna behave like all men do and just this is how all men sit on the subway Yo- yo, what the- yo, what the fuck Yo get out of here! [Tan] Be forced to manspread really showed me how up your own ass you have to be as a person [Hila] She’s gonna win employee of the week at- [Ethan] yeah, Tan is gonna win employee of the- of the year at BuzzFeed probably She’s gonna be like “You triggerred males so hard with that video that we are giving you this statue of penis and balls because you’ve apparently never seen one before and we just wanna let you know what they look like” [Hila] “You did such a great job missing the point. Exactly what we were looking for.” Promoted [Ethan] I’m jealous of women ‘Cause sometimes I see you in really tight-fitting pants And you’re sitting there and you’re really cute little like, put-together and you don’t take up a lot of space like they’re complaining about And I’m like dude, I’m- I’m actually jealous of that, because I want to [Hila] I wouldn’t want to have something in between my legs [Ethan] Women try to sympath- like I know you have periods and give birth which I have full respect for and God Bless you for that but try to at least empathize that you have like this junk in between your legs all the time And it’s very sensitive stuff too Like you get punched in the balls the wrong way, you will puke The pain is so severe Like I’m just sayin’, you- you guys have gone about this in such- in such bad way that frankly all the respect I had for BuzzFeed is now gone I went from zero to zero [Hila] *chuckles* yeah [Kuwilileni] The man that’s taking up too much space on the bus, on the plane, on the bench we see, you don’t need that much room To the young women out there, I would say “You should definitely be aware of your surroundings if there’s something that you want, if there’s something you wanna say, if there’s a position that you wanna hold. Take up that space. You deserve that space.” [Ethan] Um, what a message of empowerment How does that make you feel, dude? [Hila] It made me feel like next time I’m on a train I should lay over three seats You kind of take up a little space here [Hila] Well she said I need to be more confident Take up that space! [Ethan] Why are you tak- Why are you putting your legs on my lap You have plenty of space on your chair I don’t understand You deserve that space! [Hila] Well I deserve it [Ethan] Why, what do you mean? [Hila] I am a uh- a woman BuzzFeed said that I deserve it and I should be empowered [Tan] I have so many vivid memories as a child of mom telling me to close my legs [Ethan] Well BuzzFeed says it’s true then I better fucking just Here you go dude, make yourself at home This is how everyone needs to sit on the subway from now on So men make sure to offer your shoulders and leg space to all women as reparation for the manspreading that has taken on by our kind Thank you so much to Lootcrate for sponsoring us and hooking it up with that meme juice Lootcrate is a suscription service that sends you a box of goodies every month Next month’s theme is Space and includes goodies from Mass Effect, Destiny and XCom If you guys would like next month’s Lootcrate Make sure to visit the link in the description : lootcrate.com/h3h3 Make sure to use the code h3h3 to get 10% off your space crate Last month was magic and take a look at this cool ass doctor strange toy and one of my all-time favourite movies: Big Trouble in Little China Thank you guys so much for watching and thank you to lootcrate for hooking up that meme juice and sponsoring our video See you guys next time [H3H3 Production Theme Song by MajorLeagueWobs]