Bow Down to Badass Benson – Law & Order: SVU


-I can’t use my…as an alibi
because I wasn’t with my… -Well, then I’m gonna need
the name of your other… ♪♪ Up against the wall now.
Don’t make me say that again. Arraign this prick. You’re under arrest. -You’re either a wolf
in this life or a lamb. I’d rather run with the wolves.
[ Handcuffs clicking ] I’ll be out of these cuffs
in an hour. -I wouldn’t be so sure. Your friends are gonna turn on
you, and nobody helps the wolf when he’s bleeding. ♪♪ Follow my lead. -You don’t know Benson. -[ Grunting ] She’s like a dog with a bone. -W-What can I do now?
[ Sobs ] -We’re gonna find and confront
the bastard who did this to you. Stand up. You’re under arrest
for rape in the first degree. [ Handcuffs clicking ]
Let’s go. This is far from over. -I’ve never seen him before
in my life. -Well, that’s — that’s not
what your mom said, Tony. -You see? I’m a good citizen. Helping you out and all.
So I can go now. -While we appreciate
how devastated you are that your drugs are killing people,
no, no, you can’t go. -Who’s she? -I’m the…that’s gonna
smack your pretty face next time I hear you say “ho.” Get ahold of yourself.
-Get your hands off me! -Stop! Now.
-Get outta here. -Not without my Oreos.
-Just go someplace else. -Hey, sweetheart, I’ve had
a very bad day, okay? You have no idea
what utter terror is. -Lana would never turn on me. -She’s testifying in front of
the grand jury as we speak. You are done, Doctor.
You’re done. -Testimony of co-conspirators.
They don’t know the real story. -Oh, well,
Judge Barth is cooperating. And, by the way,
so is your wife. -See, this is just
another case to me. -Listen. Your B.S.
doesn’t fly with me. Mr. Duca, I was just
coming to see you. -This is harassment.
-No, this is a warning. If you ever post another word
about my son, I will arrest you on
child-pornography charges, and I will do everything in
my power to make them stick. Do you understand me?
We’re clear. You know what
the worst thing is? What really pisses me off? You, Mr. Beck, are the worst
kind of predator there is. Um, sorry.
Can I just get some aspirin? -A-And that’s it.
-Thank you. Drop the knife. Turn around. Put your hands
behind your back. [ Handcuffs clicking ]
Hmm. -I’m going to confiscate
everything that Chris owns. -What does that mean?
-What does that mean? It means that your mother is
gonna be living on the street. Goodbye.

President Trump: “I Like To Obey The Law”


>>WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO THE
LATE SHOW. I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT’S JUST OUR SECOND SHOW OF 2020. AND SO FAR, WE’RE NOT DOING TOO
WELL ON THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION OF “DON’T GO TO WAR
WE’VE BEEN WAITING ON PINS AND NEEDLES TO SEE HOW IRAN WOULD
RESPOND. IT’S LIKE OUR COUNTRY HAS SENT
AN IMPULSIVE LATE-NIGHT TEXT, AND NOW WE’RE STARRING AT THOSE
THREE LITTLE DOTS. THIS MORNING, A TOP IRANIAN
SECURITY OFFICIAL REVEALED THE COUNTRIES THAT DRAWN UP 13
SCENARIOS TO RETALIATE– ALSO KNOWN AS AN AYATOLLAH’S DOZEN. U.S. OFFICIALS ARE REPORTEDLY
CONCERNED THAT IRAN COULD TRY TO STRIKE A HIGH-LEVEL AMERICAN
LEADER. WELL, I DON’T KNOW WHO THE
EQUIVALENT OF SOLEIMANI WOULD BE IN THE UNITED STATES. WHO WOULD IT HAVE TO BE? IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A WELL-KNOWN
MILITARY LEADER WHO IS A NATIONAL SYMBOL OF SECURITY AND
STABILITY. OH, MY GOD! IT’S THE GENERAL! GET OUT OF THERE, SIR! TRUMP ISN’T REAL HAPPY ABOUT
IRAN NOT BEING REAL HAPPY WITH HIM, AND HE SHOWED THAT TODAY
WHEN HE MET WITH THE PRIME MINISTER OF GREECE FOR A VERY
GRUMPY EPISODE OF: “CHAIR CHAT!>>Stephen: TRUMP WAS ASKED
ABOUT HIS DECISION TO TAKE OUT SOLEIMANI, AND HE HAD NO
REGRETS.>>HE WAS TRAVELING WITH THE
HEAD OF HEZBOLLAH. THEY WERE NOT THERE TO DISCUSS A
VACATION. THEY WERE NOT THERE TO GO TO A
NICE RESORT SOMEPLACE IN BAGHDAD.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“AND THAT’S WHY WE BLEW HIM UP, BECAUSE HE WASN’T STAYING AT ONE
OF MY HOTELS.”( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
AFTER GETTING CRITICIZED FOR
THREATENING TO ATTACK IRAN’S CULTURAL SITES, TRUMP WALKED IT
BACK… KIND OF SORT OF.>>THEY ARE ALLOWED TO KILL OUR
PEOPLE. THEY ARE ALLOWED TO MAIM OUR
PEOPLE. THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BLOW UP
EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE, AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT STOPS
THEM, AND WE ARE, ACCORDING TO VARIOUS LAWS, SUPPOSED TO BE
VERY CAREFUL WITH THEIR CULTURAL HERITAGE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IF THAT IS WHAT THE LAW IS, I
LIKE TO OBEY THE LAW.( AS TRUMP )
“I LIKE TO OBEY THE LAW, JUST ASK PAUL MANAFORT OR MICHAEL
COHEN. IF THEY EVER GET OUT OF FEDERAL
PRISON, THEY WILL VOUCH FOR ME. THOSE TWO GUYS– THEY’RE GONNA,
THEY’RE GONNA… WITH THE GREEK PRIME MINISTER
SITTING BESIDE HIM, TRUMP ALSO PRAISED AMERICANS OF GREEK
HERITAGE.>>WE HAVE A TREMENDOUS GREEK
POPULATION, OVER THREE MILLION PEOPLE, AS I UNDERSTAND IT. THAT’S FANTASTIC. I REALLY FEEL I KNOW MOST OF
THEM. I THINK I KNOW ALL OF THEM, COME
TO THINK OF IT.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“I KNOW EVERYONE FROM GREECE: RIZZO. FRENCHY. DANNY ZUKO. ♪ TELL ME MORE
TELL ME MORE ♪ DID YOU GET VERY FAR? TELL ME MORE
♪ TELL ME MORE LIKE, DOES HE HAVE A CAR? ♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH
UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>COME ON, MAN. GET INTO IT!>>Stephen: SO THINGS ARE BAD
WITH IRAN, BUT DON’T WORRY, THINGS ARE ALSO BAD WITH IRAQ. ON SUNDAY, IRAQ’S PARLIAMENT
VOTED TO EXPEL AMERICAN TROOPS. SO IRAQ SAID, “GET OUT.” AND THE PENTAGON WAS LIKE… OKAY. EVIDENTLY, BECAUSE YESTERDAY WE
FOUND OUT THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT SENT IRAQ A LETTER SAYING THEY
WERE REPOSITIONING OUR FORCES FOR MOVEMENT OUT OF IRAQ. BUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE
RELEASE OF THAT LETTER, OUR TOP GENERAL SAID THE LETTER
SUGGESTING THE U.S. WOULD WITHDRAW FROM IRAQ WAS A
“MISTAKE.” OOPSA-TROOPSY! THE PAYING SAYS THE COPY OF THE
ENSIGNED LETTER LEAKED TO THE PRESS WAS A DRAFT. IT WAS NEVER SENT AS A FORMAL
MEMORANDUM. YOU CAN’T SEND SOMEONE A LETTER
OF THAT MAGNITUDE AND THEN SAY IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING. IT’S LIKE SAYING, “HONEY, THAT
BREAKUP EMAIL WAS FROM MY DRAFTS FOLDER. NOW, AS I WAS SAYING, WITH THIS
RING, I THEE WED.”