Jeff Ross Trashes Alec Baldwin’s Filmography – Roast of Alec Baldwin

Happy roast, everyone. Happy roast. What a crowd! Here I am again following
fucking De Niro. Great job, Aging Bull. I learned something tonight. Alec is the name you give
your son if you want him to grow up and be an asshole. Caitlyn, you were
fucking awesome tonight. I just wanna say that. You were really awesome
tonight. But I wouldn’t fuck you
with Bruce Jenner’s dick. Remember when your picture
was on Wheaties boxes back when people could still
look at you when they eat? How about a hand
for our guest of honor, Mr. Alec “Bobblehead” Baldwin? [cheers and applause] Alec is actually my neighbor
in Greenwich Village, which was a pretty safe
neighborhood until you fucking moved in. You’re a big star. I watched you get arrested
for punching a guy over a parking spot. Next time, valet your car and help your
brother’s business. Help a brother out, Alec! I’m speaking as a big fan.
I love all your movies, Alec. I loved you in “The Departed,” which is also what Caitlyn
calls her penis. And of course, Alec,
you got your Oscar nomination for “The Cooler,” which is where Caitlyn
keeps her penis. And of course,
your first big break was “The Hunt for Red October,” which is what Caitlyn
calls her vagina. Alec, I first saw you
in the movie “Pearl Harbor,” which was worse than
the actual Pearl Harbor. Halfway through, I was rooting
for the Japanese. Any fans of Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump impression
here tonight? [cheers and applause]
Okay. Okay. What a lot of people
don’t realize is that for the last three years, Donald Trump is actually doing
an Alec Baldwin impression. He calls people names,
he yells at the press, he married an immigrant
half his age. The only difference is that
Trump calls his daughter a fox, not a pig. Here’s to you, Ireland. Great job, Ireland.
You didn’t oink once. What a babe.
I love that movie. Bob, this is nothing for you.
You’ve seen it all. Robert De Niro’s
been around so long, he was God’s father.

Dennis Miller Won’t Read Your DMs – Lights Out with David Spade

All right,
it’s time for Sports Out– -Lights Out Sports Update.
-MILLER: What is this? MAN: ♪ Lights Out Sports ♪
Update. Yeah. Dumb. I hired that BO guy. Uh, Jaguars’ quarterback
Jalen Ramsey revealed that in college,
to psyche out his opponents, he would slide
into their girlfriends’ DMs. Wow. Full disclosure, I did do this
to James Corden one time. It was not in college,
it was yesterday. Dennis, you know what DMs are,
direct message. DM’s my initial.
I don’t know what it means as far as the, uh… -It just means he sent
messages… -Surprised to hear he had slid into me. (laughter) (cheers and applause) It’s the very definition
of the tuck rule. I heard his wiener was so big that they went over
the data limit on the phone. That’s a rumor; I have no idea
if it’s true. But he got roll over inches… -MILLER: And swiped his wiener?
-Yeah. -I’m cleaning it up all
of a sudden. -We’re on cable. -You can say dick, can’t you?
-I know, but… I’m trying to clean up
’cause you’re here, -and I know you…
-MILLER: What’s with the, What’s with the flock
of seagulls pants? What is that fabric on there? Oh, no.
Come on, Dennis. This whole show is, like,
built on tight-pegged, alternative-fabric pants and little fabulous footwear. I feel like I’m in a pop-up at a Skechers store
or something. -That’s– Come on, Dave.
-It’s all… This is genuine pleather,
I’ll have you know. KOY: I love the fact
that he just said you got your pants
at Skechers. (laughter) -Do they make…?
-Only Dennis could do that. Isn’t Skechers a pants store? -No, it’s not.
-Yeah, it’s no use. Skechers is not a pants store. SPADE: I know, when I,
when I walked… I tell you, I’ve reached that… It’s a place where you get
free bubblegum. That’s where I send my son. I’ve reached the point in life
with the culture that I am thankfully
out of the loop. (laughter) I’m trying to get there, Dennis. I need to be there. You don’t need to know
where I got my tight pants. I don’t know much about
social media or DM-ing. To me, when I look at Twitter,
I think “Never have lives less lived
been more chronicled.” -Uh…
-SPADE: Yeah. I dig that. With Jalen, a lot of people
might not like what he was doing,
but I kind of like it, because you got
to compete sometimes and sometimes you got to get
under people’s skin. I actually was blessed,
when I was competing, I won my wife over a bet, and she still don’t know that. But she know it now. Yeah, she’ll find out tonight. I’m gonna be in some trouble. Who do you think is more fine,
A-Rod or Jalen. -Which is your type here.
-SPADE: Yeah. It got– You know what?
It got to be A-Rod. I love just…
(rolls tongue) Just that part. Forget A-Rod,
I’m trying to hit Jen, man. KOY:
Yeah. Jen, holler at me, baby. SPADE:
Holler at her, babe. Holler at me.

Toffee with Kiran – ft. Politician (Funny Videos) Episode 9

Hello friends … welcome your … Friends … Today’s our show … is very spicy … Who will hear you … ostentatious … Because today among us … such a leader has come … Who find ourselves … between us and you … And … the fleet of our country is … So we stop our super hit entertainment … here … With this promise … that next week … we will meet you again … With a new guest … By that time you should be happy … laughing … smiling … And remember us … Keep loving our show … Along with this … Give us permission … Hello … Adab … Ta … Ta …

The Government and Hinduism | Stand-up Comedy by Himesh Panta

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