Nowadays, it seems like every news story
is upsetting. Politics, climate change, war in the Middle East,
war at Popeyes. -(laughter)
-And… And I was… I was chatting to my friend
Roy Wood Jr. about this, and I was just like, “Yo, man, “I wish we could
just take a moment “to find news stories
that are just fun. You know, bring a little
sunshine into our lives.” And so I-I asked Roy
if he could find some of those happy stories, and that’s exactly what
he’s done for our brand-new happy segment,
A Sprinkling of Sunshine. -♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause) Ah! (laughter) Hello, everyone. I’m Roy Wood Jr. And today,
I thought we’d kick off our first Sprinkling of Sunshine
with some stories about animals, ’cause who doesn’t love animals? They keep us company,
they help us with our work, and a certain number seven horse
helped me win $5,000, which I immediately lost
when I doubled down on a certain number four horse,
slow bastard. (laughter) My point is animals help us out,
and now they’re cheering us up in the most cheerless place
on earth, the airport. A therapy animal
is hogging all the attention at the San Francisco
International Airport. You may have encountered LiLou. She’s billed as the world’s
first airport therapy pig. Her main goal
is to help passengers ease travel anxieties. The five-year-old pig poses
for selfies, can do tricks like a dog. Airport officials say
LiLou has built a sense of community there,
and she’s house-trained. -(laughter)
-Mm. Aw. That’s so adorable. You feel that sunshine?
I feel that sunshine. The San Francisco Airport
got a therapy pig, which is great, ’cause
it’s usually therapy dogs. This pig is a trailblazer. She’s the Jackie Robinson
of pigs, but instead of home runs, LiLou’s talent is not shitting
on anyone’s luggage. And you got to imagine, this has got to be a hard job
for LiLou. She’s got to walk around
the airport food court smelling bacon
and not being freaked out. (laughter) I mean, if I walked in my office and it smelled like
barbecued black guy, I probably would take a shit
on someone’s luggage. (laughter and applause) Just the first whiff,
like, “Mm.” And I think animals
make great therapists. They make great therapists,
animals. They listen, they’re loyal
and, unlike human therapists, you can tell them about crimes
you’re gonna commit, and they can’t stop you. So I think this therapy pig
is a great idea, especially considering
that in America, one in five adults struggles with some form
of mental illness, but because there’s a lack
of resources, people got to figure out
their own shit by themselves or talk to a goddamn pig -20 minutes before their flight.
-Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy. -No, no, Roy, Roy, Roy. -It’s
a damn shame that you got to… -A pig!
-Roy, Roy, Roy! Roy, Roy, Roy. What are you doing?
What are you doing? We’re here… we’re here
to sprinkle sunshine, remember? That’s my bad. You’re right. Sunshine.
Sprinkle the sunshine. I got– I got carried away. -Okay!
-(applause) Let’s move
from the cutest therapy pig to a rascally little kitty. REPORTER: A Houston
animal rescue organization is desperate
to get rid of this cute cat. They say Quilty
had to be sentenced to solitary confinement
for continually letting other cats out
of their enclosures. The serial offender was caught
multiple times by staff at Friends For Life
Animal Rescue and Adoption, setting his feline friend free
from the senior room. The shelter says
Quilty will not be contained. He has no shame.
The cat is currently free, visiting with
a potential adoption family. Quilty even has
his own merchandise now. Too much sunshine!
My heart can’t take it. You’ve got a rescue cat
that’s rescuing other cats! Forget that freaky-ass
Cats movie. They need to make a movie
about Quilty breaking out. Call it
The Pawshank Redemption. -(applause)
-And… and Morgan Freeman
can still narrate it. “It comes down
to a simple choice, really. “Get busy scratchin’
or get busy dyin’. Nine times.” Also, good luck to any family
that adopts Quilty. The parents are gonna come home
and look around the house and they gonna be like,
“Hey, who opened the baby gate?” And Quilty’s gonna be like,
“Hey, I don’t believe
in keeping kids in cages.” In fact, maybe this cat
should be in charge of the immigration policy,
instead of people who think -it’s okay to rip thousands
of kids -Whoa, whoa, whoa, Roy. -away from their parents, who
are just trying -Roy, Roy, Roy. -to give their families
a better life! -Roy, Roy, Roy. -Roy, Roy, Roy. R-Roy.
-Put Quilty! R– No, Roy,
I-I know this is important and we talk about immigration
all the time, but I-I thought we said,
just for this moment, sunshine. (laughter) We’re shining.
We’re-we’re good. We’re-we’re sparkling.
We’re-we’re having a good time. And if you want a good time,
Trevor, you want some sunshine, this last story
is unbearably cute. It’s about a bear. But, first, we have deputies
that come to the rescue when a bear gets himself stuck
in a pretty tight spot near Lake Tahoe. Take a look.
This is a 400-pound bear. He is well-known, apparently,
to local sheriffs and the deputies there. They
even have a nickname for him. That is T-shirt, because
of the white spot on his chest. And they say
they have to often improvise when dealing with bears,
doing what they can to keep them
and everyone around them safe. I mean, that would be
quite startling there. Now, while deputies have
to get close sometimes, they do warn people not
to get too close to those bears. -(awwing)
-Goddamn. A giant bear in a dumpster. That is both hilarious and a very common search
on Pornhub. -It…
-(laughing) It also means doing chores
in this town has got to be
extremely dangerous. “Uh, baby,
can you take out the trash?” “What? You trying
to get me killed, woman, “to take the life insurance!
I know what you’re trying to do. Ain’t taking out no damn trash.” And, also, kudos
to the police officers for approaching this bear calmly
and deescalating the situation. I just wish black people
in America would get -the same treatment from the
police. -Whoa, Roy, Roy, Roy. -That would be
a wonderful thing. -R-Roy. -(cheering and applause)
-It’s… It would be wonderful if the police–
I mean, may-maybe black people should just start wearing
bear costumes -whenever we leave the house.
-R-Roy, Roy. L-Look, I-I–
All of this makes sense and I agree with you,
but we can’t always be outraged. That’s what we said
this would be about. You’re right, you’re right.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That’s my bad. I-It’s just hard
for me to not focus on all the bad news
that’s out there. There’s so much bad news
out there. Well-well, maybe you should talk
to someone about that, Roy. Actually, Trevor, I’m
about to head to the airport. My therapy pig is flying in. Roy Wood Jr., everybody.