The difference between the Republican Party and the Democratic Party


– The only downside to calling out stuff about the Democratic
Party is whenever I do it, I get a bunch of right-wing people going, “Yay, Tim Black, yay, Tim Black!” and it’s like, “No, no, I don’t like you either. In fact, I like you less.” (upbeat music) Only difference is, the
corporate Republicans admit who they are, they tell you who they are. You know, they show up with a gun and say, “I’m here to rob you. Not gonna act like I’m your friend. I’m here to take from you and give to the rich guys over there. That’s the deal. That’s my job.” Democratic Party’s a little different. They take you out for a beer, “Hey, man, how you doing, man? Hey, man, let’s go get
a beer, man, on me.” “For real, dog, you really
gonna take me for a beer?” “Yeah, man, look like you
could use a beer, man. Come on, let’s go take out, get a beer.” They sit down at the bar with you, listen to all your problems, “Yeah, man, these damn
cops keep messin’ with us.” “Really, keep messin’ with you, man? I’m gon’ help you fix that.” “Man, you gon’ help me fix the
cops messin’ with me, man?” “Yeah, man, ’cause I’m on your side.” “We got other problems too, man. The damn schools, man, the
schools ain’t workin’ right, man. We need better schools. You know, we gotta school
where the kids are gettin’ infected with mold. Mold just goin’ to the school.” “Oh, God! Mold on the kids! I’m gonna fix that ’cause I got your back. I’m a Democrat.” “Like, wow, man! This is amazing, man. I love you, Democrat guys, man. You understand my pain.” “Absolutely, we do.” Now you listen all that, you sit there at the bar of life. Life in politics. You have a few drinks with
the Democrat Party guy. (sighs) Then when you’re totally
plastered and you’re leavin’ the bar, (laughs) he pulls out his gun! (laughs) “Give me all your money! I’m a give it to the rich guys over here.” (laughs) “I thought you were on my side!” “That’s what you get for thinkin’. Stop thinkin’! Always thinkin’. Incrementalism! Incrementalism!” “Ahh!” Give it up for that. (laughs) I might put that in my act. I like that. That’s a good one. (upbeat music)